diff --git a/textfiles.com/100/arttext.fun b/textfiles.com/100/arttext.fun new file mode 100644 index 00000000..2a09a94a Binary files /dev/null and b/textfiles.com/100/arttext.fun differ diff --git a/textfiles.com/100/b00g!.hum b/textfiles.com/100/b00g!.hum new file mode 100644 index 00000000..81b0e3e9 --- /dev/null +++ b/textfiles.com/100/b00g!.hum @@ -0,0 +1,128 @@ +----------- +Anarchy Inc ...presents... +----------- B00G and the art of ZEN + + +Written under strictly controlled conditions April 1986.. +By those rather daft people at the Darque Side. Call today. I insist. + +<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<> + "Bunny farts? What? Me worry?" --Ron S. VanZuylen, Sunnyvale, CA. +<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<> + + The other day a friend of mine came up to me and asked a question which +I hadn't a clear answer to. "What is Boog?" What, indeed, is boog? + + That's a damn good question. + + Let's avoid discussing this for a moment or two so we can collect our +thoughts and remember from exactly which dusty, half-hidden pothole this +concept first emerged. + +/-----------\ +! Hey ! <-- Assuming we had both the time and money to invest in +! misstah ! discussing silly useless things like little cute boxes +! wanna ! ingraciously stuck in such ungodly places as the centers +! buy ! of textfiles, perhaps the thing that would strike us as +! a ! most important is the shape of the box, and not, as we +! duck? ! would assume, the contents inside. ..(author) +\-----------/ + + Feh, Monty Python, Pink Floyd, Opus, The Hallelujiah Chorus, The William +Tell Overture, Benny Hill, Ed, Ned (not Ed), 8, 88. Who are these people, +these things, and why have they assumed importance (or have they assumed +’importance?) Most likely a question would be "How can I get money out of +this?" I can't tell how you will get $, but you can send your $ to me, c/o +this Ascii Express. But this confuses, and we digress. + +<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<> + "Quote? What do you want a lousy quote for?" -Eric C. Thompson, on drugs. +<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<> + +/-----------\ Truly. Perhaps it is that most of us here at Anarchy Inc. +! nEFr ! to a point digress beyond the reasonable limit established +! eEt ! by the men in dark sunglasses for silly textfiles. +! kAT ! +! FuD ! We can start by asking ourselves 'What does Boog mean?', but, +! wILe ! as it turns out, the more expedient course of action is to +! oN ! ponder the question, Why 'Boog?'. The answer is, of course, +! aSid. ! Lite Beer. The proof of this is beyond the present scope of +! ! this file and involves the solution of a number of indeter- +! -Havoc ! minate differential equations. +! T. ! +! Chaos ! ----- "But so what?" you ask. ----- +\-----------/ + + Now this is all well and good, but the meaning of Boog has little, if +any, to do with Lite Beer. To solve this puzzle we must delve into a field +entirely different from any we have previously encountered in our daily +experience. Look above you. Can you see the sky or is your view impeded by +the crinkly off-white of an acoustic ceiling? The frosty neutral glare of a +fluorescent lightbulb? Ceramic tile? Or perhaps, you can see the stars, +staring back down from a height more remote than the sun. + +/--------------\ +! ! +! box. ! ----- Box. The way of Zen, explained. ----- +! ! +\--------------/ + + The Master Yao-shan, upon being asked 'What is the Way?' had answered, 'A +cloud in the sky and water in the jug!' A quick drive up to San Francisco to +an art gallery (or a waffle factory, for that matt’er) will verify the truth of +this once and for all, and how this relates to Boog can be found hanging on +the wall in the Smithsonian. + + Zen is the art of perceiving the world as it is without trying nor even +wanting to understand it. Boog is the manifestation of this in the daily life +of your average modem user. Boog doesn't make sense, it doesn't have to. All +that is required is for you to perceive it. + + (As a minor footnote, of late there has been much confusion and +hullaballoo concerning the spelling and proper punctuation of the word boog. +Committees have met, polls have been taken, votes have been counted, decisions +have been made, and the verdict is in: Capitalized. 0's as in B00G permitted +only if G is capitalized. Lately the alternative form b00g has seemed to have +gained some acclaim. Best used in the context "Boog?", "Boog." or "Boog!". +Alas poor Boog, I knew him well..) + + Boog is a boog thing. This sentence does not talk about itself, it does +not concern itself with much of anything. It is content to just be. Little +relevance is applied to the fact that I am not sticking to the subject matter. +Lemmings need not stick to their subject matter; they are free to run off to +god-knows-where to do god-knows-what to god-knows-which other ’lemmings for +god-knows-why and then -poof-, he washes up onshore. Sad, but the lemming did +not seem to so think. Similarly the frozen linguini becomes thawed hence +rendering it edible, but not on a popsicle. Until you understand this +paragraph you are forbidden to continue. I insist. + + But what has this to do with Zen? Zen is neZ spelt backwards, but alas +that gives little consolance. Were I to be a Maharishi-ite, I would tell you +how the Grand Forces of the Unified field combine to ..well.. let things +happen. But I am not and I will not so you're out of luck. d00d. Seriously my +veal parmesian is cooling, and it must be attended to, so discuss that with +the Bagwhan. Ah.. Choo. + + Sir! Are you still alive? + + Boog. What is boog’? Boog is the experience. An ultimate that weaves its +way into and through our lives as the spider weaves its web, in desperate +search for food. Boog is. + +<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<> + I have been told that Ed is round is good is not Ned is good is Ed. +And Ned is not Ed is bad is not 8. 8 is round, is good. 88 is The Number. +Then we were told that there were Edly people, and edliest of all be Ed +Mertens, who has a round head. Edly people like /ed until /ed was /exiled, +and is no more. - Ned Mertens, man with big dick. +<>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<> + +Where to send the money: (c) Anarchy Inc. + + The Dark Side Ascii Express Line + Call 408/245-SPAM and you will not be disappointed. + But you might vomit. +They're coming to take me away, ha ha. + +<..No!..No!..No!..Yes!..Yes!..Yes!..No!..No!..No!..Yes!..Yes!..Yes!..No!..> + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/textfiles.com/100/balls.txt b/textfiles.com/100/balls.txt new file mode 100644 index 00000000..e93204eb --- /dev/null +++ b/textfiles.com/100/balls.txt @@ -0,0 +1,64 @@ + 1990 July 12 at 11:17 EDT + + To: David Walker + + FROM: Jeff Sharpe + + I thought this was pretty funny. This is a true IBM ordering + information quote from one of their catalogues. Pass it on... + + This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to + all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very + serious. The rest of us may find it rather funny. + + + __________________________________________________________________ + + Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) + + Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse + fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a + ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this + procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by + properly trained personnel. + + Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining + the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and + harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ + depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be + replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced + using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static + sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden + discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be + used immediately. + + It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls + for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer + missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing + these necessary items. + + To re-order, specify one of the following: + + P/N 33f8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls + P/N 33f8461 - Foreign Mouse Balls + +X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X + + Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm) + + & the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845 + Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649 + Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766 + realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043 + Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102 + + Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives, + arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality, + insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS. + + Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are, + where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother. + + "Raw Data for Raw Nerves" + +X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X