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113 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
113 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
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How To Torment Retards
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Well, summers here and we're all out of that shack o' hell that the commoners
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call school. Summer is the perfect time for Anarchy, all the baseball games,
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soccer games, happy <fucking> people and the rest that goes with it. So get
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out there and wreck some havoc.....
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We all know the retards, you know those kids in the wheelchairs named Jerry
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who drool on their cereal stained shirt, while yer trying not to look and at
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the same time wanting to burst out with laughter. Well these rejects (or fuck
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ups if you will) of life, are here for two reasons only....torment and abuse!
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1. A funny prank on one of those wheelchair fuckups is to wrap duct (or hockey)
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tape around the button that makes the wheelchair go. They're so fucking dumb
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they'll just go along for the ride.....wherever they may journey to!!!
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2. Impersonate them.....this is good when the fux can't talk right. It's funny
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when a reject gets mad, cause he gets confused and (if you're lucky) may swallow
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his tongue!!
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3. If you have a sister or something then this prank is for you. Take some of
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your sisters make up and find a retard. Next walk up to him and paint his face!
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Maybe you should write "fuck me" on his forehead or something....the
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possibilities are endless!!
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4. Grab a wheelchair retard out on his own. Wheel him up to the top of a hill or
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something. Now push him off his chair and then push it over. He'll be sitting
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their staring at his chair....to dumb to do a thing!!!
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5. Go to your local convenience store and wait for a retard to come in. Give him
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anything that's unpaid for and tell him to take it outside and then go home. As
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the retard does your bidding tell the cashier about the retards offence and
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watch him chase after the unsuspecting reject. But for bonus points you can rip
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off the store while the cashier is darting off.
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6. Bring a reject to the top of a hill on his wheelchair and then tip it over
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and watch him tumble down the hill.
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7. Gather all the rejects of the neighbourhood and start a freak show. Charge
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little kids to come and see the monsters of the neighbourhood. After they come
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out screaming you can charge them $5 each to give them the potion (kool aid and
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coke mixed) that'll keep them from turning like the retards!!!
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8. Spraypaint a nice big Anarchy symbol on a retards shirt.
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9. Put a sign on the back of a retards shirt saying: 5 cents to touch the frog
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man!!!
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10. Give a phrase to a retard to recite to every passer by that he meets. For
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instance imagine the Jerry who asks everyone to "suck his hairy balls" as they
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walk by.
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11. Tell a retard to sit on the road with no pants on, imagine the shock of
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old man Wiggins (the neighbourhood child molester) as he sees a fresh slab of
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meat just sitting on the pavement in front of his Ford.
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12. Have a retard feel every woman that goes by, it's hillarious!!!
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13. Give a retard an ice cream cone, and just watch as he tries to eat it. He'll
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end up dropping it most of the time!!!
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14. Plainly make fun of him....continuously listing the things you can do that
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he can't!!!
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15. Give him a bunch of faggit ass clothes and tell him to wear them to school
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because they're the new style.
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16. Watch a retard try and open a can of pop.....I almost pissed myself as the
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dummy tried to do it.
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17. Just beat the retard to death.
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18. Give the retard a lighter and show him how to light it. Watch as he sets
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himself on fire!!!
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19. Wrap him up in some sort of a makeshift straightjacket and wheel him around.
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20. Tie a retard up and hang him from a tree, so everyone can see. This is
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really funny on Halloween...he'll get egged.
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21. Have him go door to door saying trick or treat in the middle of March.
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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Well I hope you liked this work of mine. Most of these (MOST) have been tried
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out on retarded people and have worked.
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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An Anarchists Anonymous file.....
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By: The Anarchial Artist
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Time: 11:06 pm, June 25 1993
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Notes: Where the fuck was Guybrush???
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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
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Greets go out to: Guybrush for being "lost in the storm", Psycho for engraving
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us in the woods, Bloodthirsty Nun for helping Psycho, to
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Jay Wittick who just lost the meaning of life and to Ebony
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for gaining it.....I wish it was mine...........
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<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
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"When the bombs drop, the buildings topple, the seas rage, the lava spews....
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there will always be ANARCHY."
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-Anarchial Artist '93
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