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86 lines
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This File: School Phun 4, aka "College Phun!!!!"
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Thanxz to the Locksmith and other MegaDeath members for various ideas and
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input.
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Well, here it is, the First ever COLLEGE PHUN tutorial!
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Here we discuss institutional hell-raising on a post-secondary level for those
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who for whatever reason do not belong to a frat (the normal, respected source
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of activities of this nature).
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- Let's start with "Computing Services". One of the neatest places you can piss
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people off is in the terminal room of your local U. The Classic Krazy Glue in
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the keyboards goes over well, and so does Krazy Gluing the Terminal
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brightness knobs on minimum (which means OFF). Another neato is to remove
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the "anti-glare" coating from monitor screens. If there is necessary terminal
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documentation posted near terminals, remove them; it confuses the hell out of
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moronic first year students.
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Still more fun? Put a big slash in the big huge wide ribbon of that line
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printer; it will wear out and break shortly, but while you are not around.
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Go to the paper stack behind the printer and rubber-stamp whatever you want
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on every sheet in the stack, like "the lab instructor is a known faggot" or
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something to that effect. Better yet, steal a BOX of paper, and have this
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sort of thing offset printed onto EVERY sheet in the 4000 in the box.
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Ah, yes, back to the terminals. Have you ever noticed the "SETUP" key on
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VT-100 and VT-220 terminals? You can have endless phun with these guys; make
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the screen 132 columns so it looks really retarded, or make it
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black-on-white text, or both. Enable a foreign character set, too. For REAL
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laughs, change the baud rate of the terminal. Most terminals support MANY
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different baud rates; from 50 up to 19200. Usually a terminal will be set by
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university techs to 9600 baud; change it to 50 baud. Change ALL the terminals
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to 50 baud; 1st year geeks especially will wonder why the computer is so damn
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slow!!!
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Alternatively, leave the "receive" speed at 9600 baud so the computer's
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output looks normal enough, but set only the "transmit" speed to 50. The
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terminal will not be able to keep up with good typists at this speed, and
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will cause *MANY* dropped characters.
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Another interesting thing to do to terminals is plug up the vent slots with
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bubble gum, Krazy Glue, or whatever, and see how fast the terminal melts
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itself from overheat.
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Lastly, hacking user accounts is always fun. How to do this is another story
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for another file, but WHAT to do when you get there is almost unlimited. Do
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things like send pornographic email to all the female students (and faculty!)
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or make "minor" changes to the docs that accompany student programs...like
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have them say what a wank head the prof is or what a gay assignment that was
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or whatever. Using up a whole lot of other people's computer time is also a
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gas. Get online to some moron's account, and dial out to decent pirate boards
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nationwide. Take a whole lot of files at 12 or even 2400 baud and print them
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up on the hi-speed line printer. That's how to get a whole lot of files,
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really quick and free.
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- The Library, ah yes, the Library, probably the favorite college prankster's
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grounds. God, the things you can fuck up here...
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Let's start with stacks of books. If you see a study carrel with a mess of
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someone's belongings in it, place a library book in the middle of his/her/its
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texts so he/she/it doesn't notice. If your library has electronic theft
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detection (and what library doesn't?) then the sucker will get beeped at by
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the alarm and get into a whole mess of trouble.
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Rearranging the card catalog into a random order has always been a favorite,
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and it still gets great results (Russian Poetry in the middle of all the
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Nuclear Physics cards???)
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Also, taking cards out, and re-typing them with phony info about its Dewey
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number or Library of Congress number, is always fun. Replace the cards, of
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course, but only the re-typed ones. Also, change the dates of old books to
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this year; people will expect a nice new easy-to-read book and will get
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beat-up falling-apart old heaps of shit. Or, you can "help" make new books
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older very quickly...
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Back to study carrels. Place water on these, so papers get wet and ink runs.
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Or syrup, the stickiness will drive people NUTS. Take a knife and create
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various trenches and pits in the surface of these, so that it is impossible
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to draw a straight line against them.
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HOW TO STEAL BOOKS:
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OK, you know those damn electronic theft detectors I mentioned? Well, they
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only have those at the door, so what you do is open a window, and throw
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whatever books you want outside, with an accomplice out there to help catch
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them so you don't fuck them up or leave a suspicious-looking pile of books
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lying outside. It's best to do this after dark, for two reasons: (a) Because
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at later hours there are fewer library attendants to catch you in the act,
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and (b) so that your accomplice is not flagrantly obvious in broad daylight
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as he catches books falling from the sky...
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