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133 lines
5.7 KiB
Plaintext
133 lines
5.7 KiB
Plaintext
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(word processor parameters LM=8, RM=75, TM=2, BM=2)
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Taken from KeelyNet BBS (214) 324-3501
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Sponsored by Vangard Sciences
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PO BOX 1031
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Mesquite, TX 75150
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There are ABSOLUTELY NO RESTRICTIONS
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on duplicating, publishing or distributing the
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files on KeelyNet except where noted!
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November 7, 1992
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MAN.ASC
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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This file shared with KeelyNet courtesy of Mollie Carson-Vollath.
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF A DIGITATED, MAMMALIAN BIPED
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ELEMENT : Male Human
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CHEMICAL SYMBOL : MA
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DISCOVERER : Eve
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ATOMIC WEIGHT : Accepted as 165 but is known to vary from 120
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to 250 lbs
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(mutations have been known to exceed 800 lbs.)
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OCCURRENCE : Quantities in all urban areas
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APPROVED FORMULA : 15.5:32:40
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USES : I) Useful when accompanying element WO,
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especially in sports cars
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II) Most powerful agent for allowing money to
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run through fingers
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III) Can be a great aid to relaxation or a
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continuous source of frustration
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PHYSICAL PROP. : I) Surfaces hairy, sometimes bristly
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II) Boils at inappropriate times and freezes
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during highly competitive sporting
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activity
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III) Melts if given the proper treatment
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IV) Bitter if used incorrectly
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V) Found in various states, especially Alaska
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VI) Non-magnetic, some bordering on
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superconductivity
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VII) Yields to pressure applied by opposite
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elements
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VIII) In its natural state it varies
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considerably, but the shape is often
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artificially changed to conform to that of
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a perfect specimen. Such transformations
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can be seen at beaches and arenas
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IX) In some instances may start to gain weight
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and look like they have swallowed a keg of
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beer causing them to release noxious gases
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noisily
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X) Emits putrid fumes after vigorous activity
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CHEMICAL PROP. : I) Possesses a great affinity for gold and
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silver in top layers while lower layers
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tend to be laden with lead
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II) Able to absorb great quantities of
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expensive substances
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III) May explode spontaneously if left alone
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with a female
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IV) Insoluble in liquids but activity is
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increased by saturation in alcohol
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V) Properties are vastly improved if specimen
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is placed in the dark and massaged
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VI) Most fusable with element WO
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TESTS : I) Pure specimens turn leathery if found in
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the natural state
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II) Turns green if placed beside a better
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specimen
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CAUTIONS : I) Highly dangerous except in experienced
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hands, must be used with great care and
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patience if experiments are to succeed
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II) It is illegal to possess more than one
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III) When detaching a permanent specimen get
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appropriate counsel because the SPECIMEN
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COULD DRAIN THE BLOOD FROM YOUR VEINS
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INDEFINITELY
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IV) Tendancy toward self-destruction when ego
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is burned
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V) Age of specimen is in direct proportion to
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the expense of having him around
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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If you have comments or other information relating to such topics
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as this paper covers, please upload to KeelyNet or send to the
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Vangard Sciences address as listed on the first page.
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Thank you for your consideration, interest and support.
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Jerry W. Decker.........Ron Barker...........Chuck Henderson
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Vangard Sciences/KeelyNet
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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If we can be of service, you may contact
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Jerry at (214) 324-8741 or Ron at (214) 242-9346
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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