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| File Name : PHYHUM.ASC | Online Date : 05/09/95 |
| Contributed by : InterNet | Dir Category : HUMOR |
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The following deals with a 'New Physics Curriculum'.
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Newsgroups: sci.physics,alt.sci.physics.new-theories,alt.consciousness,sci.
skeptic,sci.cognitive,comp.ai,sci.edu,alt.relig ion.kibology
Path: news.cc.uch.gr!news.forth.gr!ecrc!Munich.Germany.EU.net!Germany.EU.net!
howland .reston.ans.net!gatech!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!world!kibo
From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: New Physics Curriculum
Message-ID: <D50qD1.H1B@world.std.com>
Followup-To: alt.religion.kibology,alt.usenet.kooks
Organization: HappyNet Headquarters
References: <3j3ck3$27r@ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>
Date: Mon, 6 Mar 1995 12:22:13 GMT
Lines: 222
Xref: news.cc.uch.gr sci.physics:76136 alt.sci.physics.new-theories:3153
alt.consciousness:3202 sci.skeptic:32642 sci.cognitive:2716 comp.ai:20270
sci.edu:5032 alt.religion.kibology:14068
In article <3j3ck3$27r@ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>, in lots of newsgroups,
Jack Sarfatti <sarfatti@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
> 1. Overview of the New Physics
> Version 0.1
1.a Overview Of The Nude Psychics
> 1.1.1 Space-Time Warps
1.1.1.a Chocolate Drops
1.1.1.b Nero Fiddles
1.1.1.c Rome Burns
1.1.1.d George Burns
> 1.1.1.1 Blackholes
1.1.1.1.a Holes Of Color
> 1.1.1.2 Vacuum Energy
1.1.1.2.a Carpet Shampoo Energy
1.1.1.2.b Energy Derived From The Fact That "Vacuum" Is The Only
English Word To Contain The Letters "UU", So Why Isn't
It Just Spelled "Vacwm"?
> 1.1.1.2 Exotic Matter
1.1.1.2.a Exotic Matter After Dark
1.1.1.2.b Frankly Kinky Matter
1.1.1.2.c Totally Perverted Matter
> 1.1.1.3 Traversable Worm Hole Time Machines
1.1.1.3.a Traversable Worm Hole Pez Dispensers
1.1.1.3.b Disposable Pocket Time Machines
1.1.1.3.c Baby Freddy's Patented TinketTime Machine
> 1.1.1.4 Big Crunch?
1.1.1.4.a Honeycomb's Big
1.1.1.4.b Yeah Yeah Yeah
1.1.1.4.c Big Big Crunch
1.1.1.4.d In A Big Big Bite!
> 1.1.1.4.1 Omega Point?
1.1.1.4.1.a Omega Lines
1.1.1.4.1.b Omega Polyhedra
1.1.1.4.1.c Omega Four-Dimensional Analogues Of The Sydney Opera House
1.1.1.4.1.d Omega Glory
1.1.1.4.1.d.1 E Plebnista
1.1.1.4.1.d.2 We, The People
1.1.1.4.1.d.3 Shatner's Hair
1.1.1.4.1.d.3.1 Is It Made Of Exotic Matter?
> 1.1.1.4.2 Time Without End?
1.1.1.4.2.a SeaQuest Episodes Without End
1.1.1.4.2.b Time Without Tears
1.1.1.4.2.c Tim Witho En
> 1.1.2 Super-Strings
1.1.2.a Super-Strings Meet The Harlem Globetrotters
1.1.2.b Super-Strings On Gilligan's Island
1.1.2.c Challenge Of The Super-Strings
1.1.2.d Super-Strings Versus The Wonder-Women
1.1.2.d.1 See! Anthropoidal Pogo Sticks!
1.1.2.d.2 I'm Only Quoting Roger Ebert
> 1.1.2.1 Quantum Fields as Low Energy Limit
1.1.2.1.a Quantum Fields Forever
1.1.2.1.b Nothing To Get Hung About
1.1.2.1.c Paul Has Zero Energy
> 1.1.3 Causality-Violation
1.1.2 Parking-Violation
1.1.1 BassViola-tion
1.1.0 The Stupid Scene In "Star Crash" Where Christopher Plummer
Says "Halt The Flow Of Time!" And It Does
> 1.1.3.1 Closed Time-Like World Lines?
1.1.3.1.a Time-Like Kitchens & Bathrooms
1.1.3.1.b Time-Like Mysteries Of The Unknown
1.1.3.1.b.1 Time-Like Mysteries Of The Completely Known
1.1.3.1.c Pay Only For The Volumes You Keep
1.1.3.1.d (Surface Areas You Get For Free)
> 1.1.3.2 Chronology Protection?
1.1.3.2.a Condoms For Clocks
1.1.3.2.b Protection From Lame Usenet Parodies
> 1.1.3.3 Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen -Bohm-Bell Quantum Nonlocality
1.1.3.3.a Einstein-Podholsky-Rosen-Bohm-Bell-Babaloo-A-Womp-Womp-A-Doo-Dah-
Tutti-Frutti-Oh-Rudi Quantum Nonlocality Bam Boom
1.1.3.3.b Proving That All Buses With Nonlocality Have Expressality
> 1.1.4 Quantum Measurement Problem
1.1.4.a Homework Will Be Graded
1.1.4.b Failure To Convert To Abians Will Count
> 1.1.4.1 Copenhagen Idealistic Interpretation
1.1.4.1.a Stockholm Syndrome
1.1.4.1.b Helsinki Formula
> 1.1.4.1.2 Heisenberg's Potentia
1.1.4.1.2.a Nothing Funny About The Word "Potentia"
> 1.1.4.2 Many Worlds Interpretation V
1.1.4.2.a William Shatner's Directorial Debut
> 1.1.4.2.1 Splitting Universes
1.1.4.2.1.a Requires A Vote In news.groups
> 1.1.4.2.2 Many Minds One Universe
1.1.4.2.2.a All Hail The One Universe
1.1.4.2.2.b People Caught Using Cheap Brand X Imitation Universes
Will Be Forced To Watch "Sliders" Until They Cry
> 1.1.4.2.3 Decohering Classical Histories (Gell-Mann et-al)
1.1.4.2.3.a Decohering Outlines Of Physics CD-ROMS
> 1.1.4.2.4 Photographs of Other Worlds (David Albert)
1.1.4.2.4.a Sitcoms Of Other Worlds
1.1.4.2.4.b Creatures Of Other Worlds, And Some Of Their Furniture
1.1.4.2.4.c Jeez, I Miss "The Far Side"
> 1.1.4.3 Bohm's Objective Nonlocal Materialist Interpretation
1.1.4.3.a Marx's Objective Dialectical Materialist Interpretation
> 1.1.4.4 Ballentine-Peres Ensemble Interpretation
1.1.4.4.a Of The Cast Of "M*A*S*H"
1.1.4.4.b Of The Cast Of "Seinfeld"
1.1.4.4.c The Supposed Pun I'm Making On "Ensemble Interpretation" Is So
Wimpy That I'd Better Apologize For It Here
> 1.1.4.5 Aharonov-Vaidman Multiple Time Interpretation
1.1.4.5 Aharonov-Vaidman Multiple Time Interpretation
1.1.4.5 Aharonov-Vaidman Multiple Time Interpretation
1.1.4.5 Aharonov-Vaidman Multiple Time Interpretation
> 1.1.5 Beyond the Quantum
1.1.5.a How Did You Find Your Steak, Sir?
1.1.5.b I Looked Beyond The Quantum
1.1.5.c And There It Was!
1.1.5.d Womp Womp
1.1.5.e Beyond The Quantum Lies The Wub
1.1.5.e.1 The Most Obscure Pop Culture Reference In sci.physics Today
> 1.1.5.1 Josephson's Theory
> 1.1.5.2 Penrose's Theory
> 1.1.5.3 Weinberg's Theory
> 1.1.5.4 Stapp's Theory
1.1.5.5 They Must All Be Wrong Because They're Just Theories!
> 1.1.5 Self-Organization
1.1.5.a He Who Controls Self-Organization Controls The World
1.1.5.b Except Maybe The Church Of Scientology Already Does
> 1.1.5.1 Classical Chaos and Fractal Strange Attractors
1.1.5.1.a I Wonder Why I Felt Compelled To Read This Post
1.1.5.1.b Known Strange Attractors Who Post To sci.physics
> 1.1.5.2 Far From Thermodynamic Equilibrium
1.1.5.2.a Far Beyond By Time
1.1.5.2.b Who Am I, Where Am I,
1.1.5.2.c Where Am I Going, What Will I See,
1.1.5.2.d Is It Worth Explaining Those Three Lines?
1.1.5.2.e Naah, I'll Just Hint That Gil Gerard Was Involved
> 1.1.6. Consciousnesss and the Apparent Flow of Time
1.1.6.a Time Is An Illusion
1.1.6.b Lunchtime Doubly So
1.1.6.c Bandwith Is Also An Illustion
1.1.6.d The Apparent Flow Of Usenet
> 1.1.6.1 Microtubules
1.1.6.1.a Splitting A Celery Stalk And Putting One Side In Red Dye
And One Side In Blue Dye
> 1.1.6.2 Intention, Meaning and Free Will
1.1.6.2.a You Left Off The Final "y"
> 1.1.6.3 Great Chain of Being
1.1.6.3.a Taste It And You'll Say,
1.1.6.3.b "Wow! That's Great Chain Of Being!"
Well, Jack, I sure learned a lot about "new physics" from reading the sentence
fragments in your outline, which you conveniently posted to seven groups, most
of which aren't about physics. I hope you appreciate my suggestions for
fleshing it out. However, if you use them, you'll owe me a million billion
zillion dollars once you invent the pocket time machine. Also, most of your
outline has already been covered on "Star Trek", so I'd be careful, Jean
Roddenberry might sue you, as might her late husband, Major Barrett.
-- K.
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mathworks.com!newshost.marcam.com!uunet!news1.hh.ab.com!csslc10
.cle.ab.com!gxkambic
From: gxkambic@csslc10.cle.ab.com (george kambic)
Newsgroups: sci.physics,alt.sci.physics.new-theories,alt.consciousness,sci.
skeptic,sci.cognitive,comp.ai,sci.edu
Subject: Re: New Physics Curriculum
Date: 7 Mar 1995 14:38:10 GMT
Organization: Allen-Bradley Company, Inc.
Lines: 48
Distribution: world
Message-ID: <3jhr4i$pgp@news1.cle.ab.com>
References: <3j3ck3$27r@ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: csslc10.cle.ab.com
Xref: news.cc.uch.gr sci.physics:76239 alt.sci.physics.new-theories:3195
alt.consciousness:3212 sci.skeptic:32741 sci.cognitive:2721 comp.ai:20298
sci.edu:5059
In article <3j3ck3$27r@ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>, sarfatti@ix.netcom.com (Jack
Sarfatti) writes:
|> 1. Overview of the New Physics
|> Version 0.1
|> 1.1.1 Space-Time Warps
Must be a newer IBM OS2.
|> 1.1.1.1 Blackholes
Politically incorrect - holes of color?
|> 1.1.1.2 Vacuum Energy
|> 1.1.1.2 Exotic Matter
That's easy - any exotic dancer.
|> 1.1.1.3 Traversable Worm Hole Time Machines
|> 1.1.1.4 Big Crunch?
New McD dry roasted hamburger?
|> 1.1.1.4.1 Omega Point?
|> 1.1.1.4.2 Time Without End?
Easy - time spent on the web.
|> 1.1.2 Super-Strings
Beyond silly string.
|> 1.1.2.1 Quantum Fields as Low Energy Limit
|> 1.1.3 Causality-Violation
Replies before I've even posted.
|> 1.1.3.1 Closed Time-Like World Lines?
Time Closed-like World Lines?
World Time-Closed Like Lines?
Like Closed-Line Time Worlds?
|> 1.1.3.2 Chronology Protection?
Clock insurance?
|> 1.1.3.3 Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen -Bohm-Bell Quantum Nonlocality
Pretty soon it'll look like a Phys. Rev A paper.
|> 1.1.4 Quantum Measurement Problem
Not VOlkswagen's problem.
|> 1.1.4.1 Copenhagen Idealistic Interpretation
The Danes have finally adopted english.
|> 1.1.4.1.2 Heisenberg's Potentia
Loss of inductance ("Missing L")
[...]
--
George X. Kambic Allen-Bradley
George.Kambic@ab.com 747 Alpha Drive
"Standard Disclaimer" Highland Heights, OH 44143
V: 216.646.3269
F: 216.646.4343
Do not keeping saying to yourself, if you can possibly avoid it, "But how can
it be like that?" because you will get "down the drain," into a blind alley
from which nobody has yet escaped. Nobody knows how it can be like that.
-R.P. Feynman
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