mirror of
https://github.com/opsxcq/mirror-textfiles.com.git
synced 2025-08-08 23:06:40 +02:00
50 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
50 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
From bobm@convex.UUCP Thu May 18 17:25:01 1989
|
||
From: bobm@convex.UUCP
|
||
Subject: Another Computerized History
|
||
|
||
|
||
(A few nights ago, I got bored with design spec writing, and wrote what follows.
|
||
Several of its first readers liked it, and suggested that I share it with
|
||
the rec.humor.funny world. - Doug Hosking (doug@escd.uucp))
|
||
|
||
In the beginning, God created the bit. And the bit was a zero; nothing.
|
||
|
||
On the first day, He toggled the 0 to a 1, and the Universe was.
|
||
(In those days, bootstrap loaders were simple, and "active low" signals
|
||
didn't yet exist.)
|
||
|
||
On the second day, God's boss wanted a demo, and tried to read the bit.
|
||
This being volatile memory, the bit reverted to a 0. And the universe wasn't.
|
||
God learned the importance of backups and memory refresh, and spent the rest
|
||
of the day (and his first all-nighter) reconstructing the universe.
|
||
|
||
On the third day, the bit cried "Oh, Lord! If you exist, give me a sign!"
|
||
And God created rev 2.0 of the bit, even better than the original prototype.
|
||
Those in Universe Marketing immediately realized that "new and improved"
|
||
wouldn't do justice to such a grand and glorious creation. And so it was
|
||
dubbed the Most Significant Bit, or the Sign bit. Many bits followed, but
|
||
only one was so honored.
|
||
|
||
On the fourth day, God created a simple ALU with 'add' and 'logical shift'
|
||
instructions. And the original bit discovered that by performing a
|
||
single shift instruction, it could become the Most Significant Bit.
|
||
And God realized the importance of computer security.
|
||
|
||
On the fifth day, God created the first mid-life kicker, rev 2.0 of the ALU,
|
||
with wonderful new features, and said "Screw that add and shift stuff.
|
||
Go forth and multiply." And God saw that it was good.
|
||
|
||
On the sixth day, God got a bit overconfident, and invented pipelines,
|
||
register hazards, optimizing compilers, crosstalk, restartable instructions,
|
||
microinterrupts, race conditions, and propagation delays. Historians have
|
||
used this to convincingly argue that the sixth day must have been a Monday.
|
||
|
||
On the seventh day, an engineering change introduced [name of buggy
|
||
component deleted to keep lawyers happy] into the Universe, and it
|
||
hasn't worked right since.
|
||
--
|
||
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP
|
||
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing.
|
||
I reply to all submissions, but about 30% of the replies bounce.
|
||
|
||
|