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295 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
295 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
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===== Addendum to System/370 Assembler =====
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Mnemonic Meaning
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-------- -------
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AI Add Improper
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ARZ Add and Reset to Zero
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BBL Branch on BLinking indicator
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BCB Blow Circuit Breakers
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BH Branch and Hang
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BO Byte Operator
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BPO Branch and Power Off
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BSCR BackSpace Card Reader
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BSD BackSpace Disk
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BSPR BackSpace PRinter
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BSST BackSpace and Stretch Tape
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CM Circulate Memory
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CP Circulate Pages
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CVRN ConVert to Roman Numerals
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DAC Disable Air Conditioner
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DO Divide and Overflow
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ED Eject Disk
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EROS Erase Read Only Storage
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FSRA Form Skip and Run Away
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HCF Halt and Catch Fire
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IIBR Ignore Inquiry and BRanch
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JCP Jam Card Punch
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JCR Jam Card Reader
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JPR Jam PRinter
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LOC Lock Operator's Console
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MDB Move and Drop Bits
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MLP Multiply and Lose Precision
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MLR Move and Lose Record
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MWC Move and Warp Core
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MTI Make Tape Invalid
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PD Punch Disk
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PDS Pause and Delay Schedule
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PI Punch Invalid
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PO Punch Operator
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PS Print and Smear
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RCSD Read Card and Scramble Data
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RIP Read and Interchange Parity
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RIRG Read InterRecord Gap
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RIV Read InValid
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RNR Read Noise Record
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RPR Read PRinter
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RPRB Read PRinter and Blush
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RSC Read and Shred Card
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RWBT ReWind and Break Tape
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RWCR ReWind Card Reader
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SPS Short Power Supply
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SRSD Seek Record and Scar Disk
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SSD Shuffle Source Deck
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SSJ Select Stacker and Jam
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SSP Scratch Systems Pack
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TDB Transfer and Drop Bits
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TWR Tape Wind to Rewind
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UER Update and Erase Record
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WWLR Write Wrong Length Record
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XOI eXecute Operator Immediately
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.AQOT ........Advance clock to quitting time
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.BH ........Branch and hang
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.BST ........Back-space and stretch tape
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.CM ........Circulate memory
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.CMI ........Clobber monitor immediately
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.CRN ........Convert to Roman Numerals
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.DAP ........Deselect active peripheral
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.DC ........Divide and conquer
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.DMPK ........Destory memory project keys
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.DO ........Divide and overflow
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.DVH ........Destory volume header
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.DWIT ........Do what I'm thinking
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.EDR ........Execute destructive read
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.EIOC ........Execute invalid on code
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.EMU ........Emulate 407
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.EP ........Execute programmer
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.EROM ........Erase read-only memory
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.FOPI ........False out of paper indication
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.FSRA ........Form skip and run away
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.HCF ........Halt and catch fire
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.HRPR ........Hang-up and ruin printer ribbon
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.IEOF ........Ignore end-of-file
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.IIB ........Ignore inquiry and branch
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.LCC ........Load and clear core
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.MLR ........Move and loose record
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.PBD ........Print and break drum
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.PIC ........Punch invalid character
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.PPL ........Perform perpetual loop
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.RASC ........Read and shread card
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.RIRG ........Read inter-record gap
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.RS ........Random slew
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.SFTT ........Strip from tractor teeth
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.SH ........Spontaneous halt
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.SMD ........Spontaneous memory dump *
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.SPSW ........Scramble program status word
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.SRSD ........Seek and scar disk
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.SRZ ........Subtract and reset to zero
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.SSJ ........Select stacker and jam
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(1,Mr. DNA) A sysop is a moron,
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(1,Mr. DNA) a useless kinda clod,
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(1,Mr. DNA) He spends his days composing text,
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(1,Mr. DNA) and thinks himself a god.
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(1,Mr. DNA) He cannot hold his liquor,
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(1,Mr. DNA) his bladder's like a sieve.
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(1,Mr. DNA) This introverted sorry swine,
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(1,Mr. DNA) Has no real right to live.
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(1,Mr. DNA) Chorus: Oh sysop sysop go away and leave our BB be,
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(1,Mr. DNA) We do not want to see your face on DECWAR or CB.
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(1,Mr. DNA) A sysop is a nurdnose,
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(1,Mr. DNA) a chowder-headed punk,
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(1,Mr. DNA) He gets a PPN for free,
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(1,Mr. DNA) I wonder, Sysop in the sky,
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(1,Mr. DNA) Why do you spawn this breed?
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(1,Mr. DNA) Of egotistic impotents who
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(1,Mr. DNA) haven't learned to read.
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(1,Mr. DNA) Chorus: Oh sysop sysop go away and leave our BB be,
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(1,Mr. DNA) We do not want to see your face on DECWAR or CB.
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(1,Mr. DNA) A sysop is contented;
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(1,Mr. DNA) His blighted worldview sings a song
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(1,Mr. DNA) of disco melody.
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(1,Mr. DNA) A sysop is a greedy fool,
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(1,Mr. DNA) An impish sort of snot,
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(1,Mr. DNA) A sysop is the kind of man
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(1,Mr. DNA) Will Rogers would have shot.
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(1,Mr. DNA) Chorus: Oh sysop sysop go away and leave our BB be,
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(1,Mr. DNA) We do not want to see your face on DECWAR or CB.
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(1,Mr. DNA) [the end]
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Well, first off, it isn't "my" song... it's something I captured in a Compu-
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Serve CB session one night many months ago. I don't know what tune DNA meant
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forit to be sung to, and I don't know if he'd even remember it. He might deny
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ever having written it if I asked him about it <<grin>>. Invent your own tune
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for it, I guess.
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Lv: 4
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0 Gen A Sys
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---------
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19-Mar-82 07:03:00
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Left for: Computer Laws
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Contributed by Bodyguard [70105,1030]
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Gen A Sys
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(IBM)
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In the beginning, there was chaos and the Universe was without form and
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void. The Lord looked upon His domain and decided to declare His presence. "I
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be" he said, then to correct his grammar added "am."
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If the Lord had decided to work on irregular verb conjugation first,
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this wouldn't have happened. God would later curse the English language for
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its part, but in that moment IBM came into being.
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The Lord looked out upon the IBM He had created and said "This is
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good." That's what He said, but He shook his head, wondered what the boys at
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the User Group would say, split the light from the dark and went to bed. Thus
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passed the Beginning and the end of the first day.
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On the second day, the Lord summoned IBM unto His presence. "There
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is chaos out there, and the Universe is without form and void. I must correct
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this and I can use your help. Is there anything you can do for me?"
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"I can take care of form," IBM replied. "Put me in charge of computers
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and I will take care of form for you."
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The Lord thought that this was good and said "Let there be
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computers. Let IBM have my powers of creation that pertain to computers and
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form." Thus saying, the Lord went off to His second day's work while IBM
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created the 1401.
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On the third day, while the Lord was out, IBM decided to subdivide the
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assgined task. "Let there be systems that make the computer work and let
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them be called Operating Systems. Let there also be systems that make use of
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the computer and let them be called Application Systems." Thus, there came
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into being both Operating Systems and Application Systems, but there were
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no programmers.
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The next morning IBM had to give the Lord a status report.
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"What did you do yesterday?" the Lord asked.
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"I invented the operating system" IBM replied.
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"You did?" the Lord shuddered. "Oh dear."
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"Yes I did," IBM confirmed, "but I find I need something you alone
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can provide."
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"And what is that?"
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"I need programmers to use my computers, to operate my operation system
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and to apply my applications."
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"That can't be done now," said the Lord. "This is only the fourth
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day and there won't be people until the sixth day."
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"I need programmers and I need them now. If they can't be people
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they can't be people, but we have to work this out today."
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"Give me some specifications and I'll see what I can do." IBM hastily
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worked up specs for programmers (are specs ever anything other than hasty) and
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the Lord reviewed them.
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The Lord knew the specs weren't sufficient but followed them
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anyway. He also made some programmers that did just what programmers were
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supposed to do, just to spite IBM. The programmers and IBM spent the
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rest of the day creating the Assembler and FORTRAN. On the morning of the
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fifth day, IBM reported to the Lord once again.
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"The programmers you created for me have a problem. They want a
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programming language that is easy to use and similar to English. I told them
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you had cursed English, though I still don't know why. They wanted me to
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ask your indulgence on this.
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The Lord had cursed English for good reason, but didn't want to
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explain this to IBM. He said "let there be COBOL" and that was that.
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On the status report of the next day IBM announced that computers
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had gone forth and multiplied. Unfortunately, the computers still
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weren't big enough or fast enough to do what the programmers wanted. The
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Lord liked the idea of going forth multiplying, and used the line Himself
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later on that day. This sixth day being particularly busy, He declared "Let
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there be MVS" and there was MVS.
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On the seventh day God had finished creation and computers had
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COBOL and MVS. The Lord and IBM took the day off to go fishing. IBM hung a
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sign on the door to help programmers in his absence.
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IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY TRY AGAIN - AND HAVE THE FOLLOWING
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READY BEFORE CALLING IBM. This was the start, and by some accounts the end, of
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On the start of the second week the programmers went over IBM's cathode
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ray tube directly to God.
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"We have a horrible problem," the complained. "Our users want
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systems that perform according to their expectations."
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"USERS!" the Lord bellowed. "Who said that you should have users! Users
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are the difference between good and bad applications, a function I have
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reserved unto myself! Who authorized you to have users?"
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"Well, IBM..."
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"IBM! You! You did this to my programmers! You gave them the knowledge
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of good and evil. For that you shall suffer through eternity!
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"Let there be competition. Let it be called Anacom, and Burroughs, and
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CDC."
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The Lord went through the alphabet several times. "With all this
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competition you shall still suffer the pain of antitrust legislation all the
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days of your existence.
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This was the start of the second week, and it seems an appropriate place
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to conclude our report. In case you missed something, a summary of key
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points follows.
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Users and their needs are and always have been a subject of dispute.
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Nobody can learn English because it is cursed by God. IBM manuals are doubly
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cursed and therefore twice as hard to understand. Of the programming
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languages, only COBOL can claim divine origin. People are people, but
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programmers are something else.
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Computers may be a gift from heaven, but there's no divine help in
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getting them to work. Because of IBM's initial assignment, there are more
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forms than anyone knows what to do with. Finally, chaos was part of the
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original state of the Universe and not a product of the data processing
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industry.
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==============================================================================
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