mirror of
https://github.com/opsxcq/mirror-textfiles.com.git
synced 2025-08-13 02:44:25 +02:00
77 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
77 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
From G.A.Roeves@newcastle.ac.uk Sun Jun 4 08:41:42 1989
|
||
Subject: Divers Alarums
|
||
|
||
|
||
The Programmer's Prayer
|
||
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
|
||
BEGIN
|
||
{Main program: Calls procedures for Divine Saving Algorithm}
|
||
|
||
REPEAT
|
||
|
||
Our OS, who art in CPU, UNIX be thy name.
|
||
Thy programs run, Thy syscalls done,
|
||
In kernal as they are in user.
|
||
|
||
Give us this time-slice our processor allocation,
|
||
And forgive us our hacking,
|
||
As we forgive those who hack against us.
|
||
|
||
Lead us not into /dev,
|
||
And deliver us from viruses:
|
||
For thyne is the /root, the I*SQR(R),
|
||
and the up-time.
|
||
|
||
UNTIL FALSE;
|
||
|
||
$logout
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
I was thinking about the ``as much use as'' stuff too, and
|
||
remembered the following -- which are similar:
|
||
|
||
``Up and down like the Asyrian Empire''
|
||
-- Monty Python, Life of Brian
|
||
|
||
``Flat as a witch's tit''
|
||
-- Austrailian Saying (used to describe beer)
|
||
|
||
``About as comfortable as a member of the Animal Liberation Front at
|
||
an owl stabbing party''
|
||
-- (Punch Magazine, years ago)
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
Hope these are of suitable ``quality''. Anyone else got any???
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
...He [the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork] did of course sometimes have
|
||
people horribly tortured to death, but this was considered to be
|
||
perfectly acceptable behaviour for a civic ruler and generally
|
||
approved of by the overwhelming majority of citizens. (The
|
||
overwhelming majority of citizens being defined in this case, as
|
||
everyone not currently hanging upside down over a scorpian pit.)...
|
||
--Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
|
||
----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
And finally the rude joke...
|
||
It isn't "rotted" so just skip over it if you are the sensitive type:
|
||
|
||
A man walks into a jewlers, unzips his trousers, and places his tool
|
||
upon the counter.
|
||
The lady serving says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a clock shop, not a
|
||
cock shop."
|
||
"Well, put two hands on this," replies the man.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
+----------------------------------------------------------+
|
||
| G R A H A M R O E V E S |
|
||
| E-MAIL: G.A.Roeves@uk.ac.newcastle |
|
||
+----------------------------------------------------------+
|
||
|
||
|