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"Do you, like, ever let people into your meat-locker to, like, uh, you know,
fuck around with the meat?" I asked.
The short-haired Greek man looked at me strangely from behind the counter.
Several of the waitresses glared in my direction.
"What you mean 'fuck around'?" the dumpy Greek asked.
"You know, like shovin' your dick in and out of the openings in the meat.
Then, like, getting a bunch of smelly, sticky cream of tubesteak all over the
junk that you grind into foodburgers," I informed him.
"Naw. We don't do that. You don't do that. Nobody do that," the imbecile
claimed.
"I do that," I began, "and as a matter of fact, most of my pals do that too.
We like it."
Overhearing our conversation, one of the waitresses gave me a sour look.
She seemed to be acting like she was getting sick. The cook and the other two
waitresses completely ignored everything except the random orders for patty
melts and double cheeseburgers.
"Look, I don't wanna do nothin' weird or strange or anything. I just wanna
fuck a bunch of meat that you got in your huge ol' meat locker. Listen, don't
any of you stupid fuckers understand what I'm sayin'?" I stated in an agitated
manner.
"Mister, people gotta eat my food. If you stick dick in food, no can eat.
Frank lose money. No can do," the Greek said.
"How much money would you lose, bright eyes?" I asked.
"Big thing of cow cost Frank $220 for a half," Greek-man said.
"Well, I wanna fuck around with about 13 of them. Let's see...that's about
$2860...and I'll give you...oh, let's see...$40 just for letting me do it,
OK?"
"I dunno."
"OK. Look, I'll give you $3000 cash, RIGHT NOW, cause I like you an awful
lot, and also cause I'm fucking sick and tired or trying to talk to you
goddamn Greek half-wits."
The Greek seemed to ponder what I had said for a minute, or perhaps he was
just wallowing in incomprehension. One waitress went into the back-room and
loudly threw up.
"OK. But you give Frank money NOW."
I handed the three bills over to the fool and lifted up a section of the
counter and walked into the walk-in freezer.
"OK, you can fuck with 13 sides of cow, but leave cheese and other gunk
alone. OK?"
There was a wide variety of different kinds of food present in the walk-in
freezer. Many, many eggs and other fine foods. I could see containers of
pancake batter and butter. On the left was what I was after. Thirteen
beautiful sides of beef!
I started to get a hard-on just looking at the beef!
"You got your cash. Get out of here!" I shouted at the geek.
I casually waltzed up to the nearest beef-side and began to sweet-talk it.
"Hi, new in town? Ever get into Satanism? Shit, you're cute."
The cool beef did not reply.
--Original story by Don Bolles
Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open


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Note to sysops: You are welcome to
download this file and use it on
your system, providing you DO NOT
remove the credits for Mark Tabas
or KAOS. In other words, try to act
like a human being!
--------------------------------------
The Mark Tabas encounter
series presents:
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Better Homes and Blue Boxing
Part I
Theory of Operation
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
To quote Karl Marx, blue boxing has
always been the most noble form of
phreaking. As opposed to such things
as using an MCI code to make a free
fone call, which is merely mindless
pseudo-phreaking, blue boxing is
actual interaction with the Bell
System toll network. It is likewise
advisable to be more cautious when
blue boxing, but the careful phreak
will not be caught, regardless of what
type of switching system he is under.
In this part, I will explain how and
why blue boxing works, as well as
where. In later parts, I will give
more practical information for blue
boxing and routing information.
To begin with, blue boxing is simply
communicating with trunks. Trunks must
not be confused with subscriber lines
(or "customer loops") which are
standard telefone lines. Trunks are
those lines that connect central
offices. Now, when trunks are not in
use (i.e., idle or "on-hook" state)
they have 2600Hz applied to them. If
they are two-way trunks, there is
2600Hz in both directions. When a
trunk IS in use (busy or "off-hook"
state"), the 2600Hz is removed from
the side that is off-hook. The 2600Hz
is therefore known as a supervisory
signal, because it indicates the
status of a trunk; on hook (tone) or
off-hook (no tone). Note also that
2600Hz denoted SF (single frequency)
signalling and is "in-band." This is
very important. "In-band" means that
is is within the band of frequencies
that may be transmitted over normal
telefone lines. Other SF signals, such
as 3700Hz are used also. However, they
cannot be carried over the telefone
network normally (they are "out-of-
band") and are therefore not able to
be taken advantage of as 2600Hz is.
Back to trunks. Let's take a
hypothetical phone call. You pick up
your fone and dial 1+806-258-1234
(your good friend in Armarillo,
Texas). For ease, we'll assume that
you are on #5 Crossbar switching and
not in the 806 area. Your central
office (CO) would recognize that
806 is a foreign NPA, so it would
route the call to the toll centre
that serves you. [For the sake of
accuracy here, and for the more
experienced readers, note that the
CO in question is a class 5 with
LAMA that uses out-of-band SF
supervisory signalling]. Depending
on where you are in the country, the
call would leave your toll centre
(on more trunks) to another toll
centre, or office of higher "rank".
Then it would be routed to central
office 806-258 eventually and the
call would be completed. Illustration:
A---CO1-------TC1------TC2----CO2----B
A=you CO1=your central office
TC1=your toll office.
TC2=toll office in Amarillo.
CO2=806-258 central office.
B=your friend (806-258-1234)
In this situation it would be
realistic to say that CO2 uses SF
in-band (2600Hz) signalling, while
all the others use out-of-band
signalling (3700Hz). If you don't
understand this, don't worry too much.
I am pointing this out merely for the
sake of accuracy. The point is that
while you are connected to 806-258-
1234, all those trunks from YOUR
central office (CO1) to the 806-258
central office (CO2) do *NOT* have
2600Hz on them, indicating to the
Bell equipment that a call is in
progress and the trunks are in use.
Now let's say you're tired of
talking to your friend in Amarillo
(806-258-1234) so you send a 2600Hz
down the line. This tone travels down
the line to your friend's central
office (CO2) where it is detected.
However, that CO thinks that the
2600Hz is originating from Bell
equipment, indicating to it that
you've hung up, and thus the trunks
are once again idle (with 2600Hz
present on them). But actually, you
have not hung up, you have fooled the
equipment at your friend's CO into
thinking you have. Thus,it disconnects
him and resets the equipment to
prepare for the next call. All this
happens very quickly (300-800ms for
step-by-step equipment and 150-400ms for other equipment).
When you stop sending 2600Hz (after
about a second), the equipment thinks
that another call is coming towards
it (e.g. it thinks the far end has
come "off-hook" since the tone has
stopped. It could be thought of as a
toggle switch: tone --> on hook, no
tone -->off hook. Now that you've
stopped sending 2600Hz, several things
happen:
1) A trunk is seized.
2) A "wink" is sent to the CALLING end
from the CALLED end indicating that
the CALLED end (trunk) is not ready to
receive digits yet.
3) A register is found and attached
to the CALLED end of the trunk within
about two seconds (max).
4) A start-dial signal is sent to the
CALLING end from the CALLED end
indicating that the CALLED end is
ready to receive digits.
Now, all of this is pretty much
transparent to the blue boxer. All he
really hears when these four things
happen is a <beep><kerchunk>. So,
seizure of a trunk would go something
like this:
1> Send a 2600Hz
2> Terminate 2600Hz after 1-2 secs.
3> [beep][kerchunk]
Once this happens, you are connected
to a tandem that is ready to obey your
every command. The next step is to
send signalling information in order
to place your call. For this you must
simulate the signalling used by
operators and automatic toll-dialing
equipment for use on trunks. There
are mainly two systems, DP and MF.
However, DP went out with the dinosaur
, so I'll only discuss MF signalling.
MF (multi-frequency) signalling is the
signalling used by the majority of the
inter- and intra-lata network. It is
also used in international dialing
known as the CCITT no.5 system.
MF signalling consists of 7 frequen-
cies, beginning with 700Hz and
separated by 200Hz. A different set of
two of the 7 frequencies represent the
digits 0 thru 9, plus an additional 5
special keys. The frequencies and uses
are as follows:
Frequencies (Hz) Domestic Int'l
--------------------------------------
700+900 1 1
700+1100 2 2
900+1100 3 3
700+1300 4 4
900+1300 5 5
1100+1300 6 6
700+1500 7 7
900+1500 8 8
1100+1500 9 9
1300+1500 0 0
700+1700 ST3p Code 11
900+1700 STp Code 12
1100+1700 KP KP1
1300+1700 ST2p KP2
1500+1700 ST ST
The timing of all the MF signals is
a nominal 60ms, except for KP, which
should have a duration of 100ms. There
should also be a 60ms silent period
between digits. This is very flexible,
however, and most Bell equipment will
accept outrageous timings.
In addition to the standard uses
listed above, MF pulsing also has
expanded usages known as "expanded
inband signalling" that include such
things as coin collect, coin return,
ringback, operator attached, and
operator released. KP2, code 11, and
code 12 and the ST_ps (STart "primes")
all have special uses which will be
mentioned only briefly here.
To complete a call using a blue box,
once seizure of a trunk has been
accomplished by sending 2600Hz and
pausing for the <beep><kerchunk>, one
must first send a KP. This readies the
register for the digits that follow.
For a standard domestic call, the KP
would be followed by either 7 digits
(if the call were in the same NPA as
the seized trunk) or 10 digits (if the
call were not in the same NPA as the
seized trunk). [Exactly like dialing a
normal fone call]. Following either
the KP and 7 or 10 digits, a STart is
sent to signify that no more digits
follow. Example of a complete call:
1> Dial 1-806-258-1234
2> wait for a call-progress
indication (such as ring, busy,
recording, etc.)
3> Send 2600Hz for about 1 second.
4> Wait for about 2 seconds while a
trunk is seized.
5> Send KP+305+994+9966+ST
The call will then connect if every-
thing was done properly. Note that if
a call to an 806 number were being
placed in the same situation, the area
code would be omitted and only KP+
seven digits+ST would be sent.
Code 11 and code 12 are used in
international calling to request
certain types of operators. KP2 is
used in international calling to route
a call other than by way of the normal
route, whether for economic or
equipment reasons.
STp, ST2p, and ST3p (prime, two
prime, and three prime) are used in
TSPS signalling to indicate calling
type of call (such as coin-direct
dialed).
This has been Part I of Better
Homes and Blue Boxing. I hope you
enjoyed and learned from it. If you
have any questions, comments, threats
or insults, please fell free to drop
me a line. If you have noticed any
errors in this text (yes, it does
happen), please let me know and
perhaps a correction will be in order.
Part II will deal mainly with more
advanced principles of blue boxing,
as well as routings and operators.
Note 1: other highly trunkable
areas include: 816,305,813,609,205.
I personally have excellent luck
boxing off of 609-953-0000. Try that
if you have any trouble.
......................................
(c) January 7, 1985 Mark Tabas
......................................
$$LOD$LOD$LOD$LOD$LOD$LOD$LOD$LOD$LOD$
----------------------
: Written for: :
: :
: K.A.O.S. :
: :
: at :
: :
: 215-xxx-xxxx :
: :
----------------------

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Bill of Rights Lite
Amendment I
Congress shall encourage the practice of Judeo-Christian religion by
its own public exercise there of, and shall make no laws abridging the
freedom of responsible speech (unless such speech is in a digital form or
contains material that is copyrighted, classified, proprietary or offensive
to non-Europeans, non-males, differently abled or alternativley prefferenced
persons), or the right of people to peaceably assemble (unless such assembly
takes place on corporate or military property or within an electronic
environment), or to petition the government for redress of grievances (unless
such grievances relate to national security).
Amendment II
A well-regulated militia having become irrelevant to the security of a free
state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms against one another
shall remain uninfringed (excepting such arms as may be afforded by the
poor or those prefferred by pushers, terrorists and organized criminals
which shall be banned).
Amendment III
No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the
owners consent, unless that house is thought to have been used for the
distrabution of illegal substances.
Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in thier persons, houses, papers, and
the effects against unreasonable searches and seizures many be suspended
to protect public welfare. Upon the unsupported suspicion of law enforcement
officials, any place or conveyance shall be subject to immediate search, and
any such places or conveyances, or property within them may be permanently
confiscated without further judicial proceeding.
Admendment V
Any person may be held to answer for a capital or otherwise infamous involving
illicit substances, terrorism or upon any suspicion whatever, and may be
subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb (once
by the state courts, once by the Federal judiciary), and may be compelled by
various means (including the forced submission of breath samples, bodily
fluids, or encryption keys) to be a witness against himself, refusal to do so
constituting an admission of guilt, and may be deprived of life, liberty,
or property without furthor legal delay, and any private property thereby
forfieted shall be dedicated to the discretionary use of the law-enforcement
agents without just compensation.
Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to speedy
and private plea-bargaining before entering a plea of guilty. The accused
is entitled to the assistance of underpaid and indifferent counsel to
negotiate his sentence, except where such sentence falls under manitory
sentencing requirements.
Amendment VII
In suits at common law where the contesting parties have nearly unlimited
resources to spend on legal fees the right to trial by jury shall be
preserved
Amendment VIII
Sufficient bail may be required to ensure that dangerous criminals will
remain in custody, where cruel and unusual punishments are ussually inflicted.
Amendment IX
Teh enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed
to deny or disparage other that may be retained bt the government to preserve
public order, family values, or national security.
Amendment X
The powers not delgated to the United States by the Constitution are reserved
for to the departments of Justice and Treasury, except when the states are
willing to forsake Federal financing.
Written by John Perry Barlow, a lyricist for the Gratefull Dead and cofounder
of the EFF. First printed by the New York Times and then re-printed by
Playboy magazine.

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E**************************************
* *
* How to build a BLACK BOX *
* *
***************************************
To all who dare --
What is a BLACK BOX? A BLACK BOX
is a device that is hooked up to your
fone that fixes your fone so that when
you get a call, the caller doesn't get
charged for the call. This is good for
calls up to 1/2 hour, after 1/2 hour
the Fone Co. gets suspicious, and then
you can guess what happens.
What this little beauty does is
keep the line voltage from dropping to
10v when you answer your fone. The
line is insted kept at 36v and it will
make the fone think that it is still
ringing while your talking. The reason
for the 1/2 hour time limit is that the
Fone CO. thinks that something is wrong
after 1/2 an hour of ringing.
All parts are available Radio
Shack. Using the least possible parts
and arangement, the cost is $0.98 !!!!
And that is parts for two of them!
Talk about a deal! If you want to
splurge then you can get a small PC
board, and a switch. There are two
schematics for this box, one is for
most normal fones. The second one is
for fones that don't work with the
first. It was made for use with a Bell
Trimline touch tone fone.
** Schematic 1 for most fones **
** LED ON: BOX ON **
FROM >--------------------GREEN-> TO
LINE >--! 1.8k LED !---RED--> FONE
!--/\/\/\--!>--!
! !
------>/<-------
SPST
Parts: 1 1.8k 1/2 watt resistor
1 1.5v LED
1 SPST switch
You may just have two wires which you
connect together for the switch.
** Schematic 2 for all fones **
** LED ON: BOX OFF **
FROM >---------------GREEN-> TO
LINE >------- ---RED--> FONE
! LED !
-->/<--!>--
! !
---/\/\/---
1.8k
<EFBFBD>Parts: 1 2 watt resistor
1 1.5v LED
1 DPST switch
Here is the PC board layout that I
recommend using. It is neat and is
very easy to hook up.
Schematic #1 Schematic #2
************** ****************
* * * ------- *
* --<LED>--- * * ! ! *
* ! ! * * ! <SWITCH> *
* RESISTOR ! * * ! ! ! *
* ! ! * * ! ! / *
* -------- ! * * ! ! \ *
* ! ! * * ! <LED>! / *
* --SWITCH-- * * ! ! \ *
* ! ! * * ! ! / *
L * ! ! * F L * ! ! ! * F
I>RED- -RED>O I>RED- ---RED>O
N>-----GREEN---->N N>-----GREEN------>N
E * h * E E * * E
************** ****************
Once you have hooked up all the
parts, you must figure out what set of
wires go to the line and which go to
the fone. This is because of the fact
that LED's must be put in, in a certain
direction. Depending on which way you
put the LED is what controls what wires
are for the line & fone.
How to find out:
Hook up the box in one direction
using one set offor line and the
other for fone.
*NOTE* For Model I switch should be OFF.
*NOTE* For Model ][ switch should be
set to side connecting the led.
Once you have hooked it up, then
pick up the fone and see if the LED is
on. If it is, the LED will be lit. If
is doesn't light then switch the wires
and try again. Once you know which are
which then label them. *NOTE* - If
neither directions worked then your
<EFBFBD>lable the switch in its current
position as BOX ON.
How to use it:
The purpose of this box is not to
poeple who call you so it would make
sence that it can only be used to
receive! calls. When the box is *ON*
then you may only recieve calls. Your
fone will ring like normal and the LED
on the box will flash. If you answer
the fone now, then the LED will
light and the caller will not be charged.
Hang up the fone after you are done
talking like normal. You will not be
able to get a dial-tone or call when
the box is on, so turn the box *OFF*
for normal calls. I don't recommend
that you leave it on all the time, as
you don't want it to answer when Ma
Bell calls!

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BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL #1
It's backup day today so I'm pissed off. Being the BOFH, however, does have
it's advantages. I assign the tape device to null - it's so much more
economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up to change tapes every
5 minutes. And it speeds up backups too, so it can't be all bad.
A user rings
"Do you know why the system is slow?" they ask
"It's probably something to do with..." I look up today's excuse ".. clock
speed"
"Oh" (Not knowing what I'm talking about, they're satisfied) "Do you know
when it will be fixed?"
"Fixed? There's 275 users on your machine, and one of them is you. Don't be
so selfish - logout now and give someone else a chance!"
"But my research results are due in tommorrow and all I need is one page of
Laser Print.."
"SURE YOU DO. Well; You just keep telling yourself that buddy!" I hang up.
Sheesh, you'd really think people would learn not to call!
The phone rings. It'll be him again, I know. That annoys me. I put on a
gruff voice
"HELLO, SALARIES!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I've got the wrong number"
"YEAH? Well what's your name buddy? Do you know WASTED phone calls cost
money? DO YOU? I've got a good mind to subtract your wasted time, my wasted
time, and the cost of this call from your weekly wages! IN FACT I WILL! By
the time I've finished with you, YOU'LL OWE US money! WHAT'S YOUR NAME - AND
DON'T LIE, WE'VE GOT CALLER ID!"
I hear the phone drop and the sound of running feet - he's obviously going to
try and get an alibi by being at the Dean's office. I look up his username
and find his department. I ring the Dean's secretary.
"Hello?" she answers
"Hi, SIMON, B.O.F.H HERE, LISTEN, WHEN THAT GUY COMES RUNNING INTO YOUR OFFICE
IN ABOUT 10 SECONDS, CAN YOU GIVE HIM A MESSAGE?"
"I think so..." she says
"TELL HIM `HE CAN RUN, BUT HE CAN'T HIDE'"
"Um. Ok"
"AND DON'T FORGET NOW, I WOULDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT THAT FILE
IN YOUR ACCOUNT WITH YOUR ANSWERS TO THE PUURITY TEST IN IT..."
I hear her scrabbling at the terminal...
"DON'T BOTHER - I HAVE A COPY. BE A GOOD GIRL AND PASS THE MESSAGE ON"
She sobs her assent and I hang up. And the worst thing is, I was just guessing
about the purity test thing. I grab a quick copy anyway, it might make for
some good late-night reading.
Meantime backups have finished in record time, 2.03 seconds. Modern technology
is wonderful, isn't it?
Another user rings.
"I need more space" he says
"Well, why don't you move to Texas?" I ask
"No, on my account, stupid."
Stupid?!?.... Uh-Oh..
"I'm terribly sorry" I say, in a polite manner equal to that of Jimmy Stewart
in a Family Matinee "I didn't quite catch that. What was it that you said?"
I smell the fear coming down the line at me, but it's too late, he's a goner
and he knows it.
"Um, I said what I wanted was more space on my account, *please*"
"Sure, hang on"
I hear him gasp his relief even though he covered the mouthpeice.
"There, you've got plenty of space now"
"How much have I got"
Now this REALLY *PISSES* *ME* *OFF*! Not only do they want me to give them
extra disk, they want to check it, to correct me if I don't give them enough.
They should be happy with what I give them *and that's it*!!!
Back into Jimmy Stewart mode.
"Well, let's see, you have 4 Meg available"
"Wow! Eight Meg in total, thanks!" he says pleased with his bargaining power
"No" I interrupt, savouring this like a fine red, at room temperature "4 Meg in
total..."
"Huh?... I'd used 4 Meg already, How could I have 4 Meg Available?"
I say nothing. It'll come to him.
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhH!"
I kill me; I really do!
spt@waikato.ac.nz (Simon Travaglia)