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textfiles.com/uploads/tobacco.txt

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+File by: Anon.
+ It occured to me the other day that there is really no good articles online which give instructions on curing one's homegrown tobacco.  So, i wrote this little txt file.  It's not a grower's guide or any of that, in fact: i'll start by telling a little story as to how i got my hands on uncured tobacco.
+ Im poor kentucky college student.  So poor i cant afford a bucket to shit in.  But i like smoking.  Most people would go scrounge some change up for a pack of off-brand bullshit, but not me.  I'm a cheap jew.  One of my freind's fathers grows tobacco on his farm.  What do i do?  i run out and steal a bag of it.  He wont miss it, im sure.
+ If you get green leaves, what you want to do is time them together with wire and put them in a warm dark place, suspended upside down.  You'll need to make sure they keep a breeze blowing over them, so what you want to do is put a fan near them.  Spray them with a mist bottle every so often for about six weeks.  The leaves will turn nice and brown.  Boom: you just fucking cured some tobacco.
+ So you wanna smoke this shit?  Well, chances are that you arent used to raw tobacco, but rather stuff that has professionally treated by the great evil superpowers that be. The stuff you have will be almost unbearably harsh.  The way to solve this is to dry your leaves completely, and then freeze them.  this makes the nice supple leaves brittle enough to crumble up without having to fuck with the stems or get the little veins of the leaves in your tobacco pouch.  Crumble up everything you have into really small crunbs.  place these into a big tupperware bowl.  A nice big kitchen bowl is nice too. whatever, you know, a fucking bowl.  Now, mix a gallon of warm water with say: two tablespoons of molasses.  Add this to the tobacco and allow to soak.  Then, with your fists, pick up a ball of the tobacco sludge and squeeze the living shit out of it until it has almost no liquid left in it at all.  Place this aside in a paper towl, and continue to do this with the rest of the bowl.  Dont worry about loosing a little bit of the leaves down the drain, you will.
+Repeat this process two or three times.  two for mild smoke, three for really mild smoke.
+Take the crumpled up balls of shit and then place them in a bit of paper towel, or say like, some newspaper and stomp the living fuck out of them.  this helps remove any water that may be left.  After that, allow your smoke to dry for two to three days on a windowsill or other warm place and boom:
+really awesome free tobacco.
+I hope this is of some use to somone someday.
+thanks.
+-j.
+p.s. so i can be cool like you, here is some ascii weightlifter turdscratch.
+       HUAAH!!!
+      /
+oO--_--Oo
+ ||(")||
+ <  v  >
+  \___/
+   ===
+  / ^ \
+  | | |
+  [u|u]

textfiles.com/uploads/toiletblow.txt

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+so now your probably wondering.. why would i want to blow up a toilet??
+well its pretty damn simple.. have you ever blown up a toilet? no?? well
+then how do you know its gonna suck..?  just for the record i have shot
+a toilet.. destroyed one with a baseball bat .. and thrown one to its
+death but i have never blown one up.. this fourth of july all thats going
+to change.. so here is a theoretical listing of ways to literally blow up
+a toilet using common fireworks bought at your local stand..
+
+
+first off you have to establish your target.. questions you should ask
+yourself..
+
+is this toilet in a gas station owned by phillips 66?
+
+can i handle the social and political impact this will have on society?
+
+do i have enough cash to pay for the fireworks and timer?
+
+
+if the answer to all these questions is yes then read on..
+
+first you need to buy your explosives.. i suggest 10 M80's.. which i know
+are illeagal in a number of states but not all.. or 15 M60's.. next get a
+roll of black tape.. then go to the grocery store and get an egg timer and
+two nine volt batteries.. then go to your favorite hobby store and get a
+package of model rocket  ignitor fuses.. then you need to construct the
+device..
+
+wrap all the Mwhatevers into one bundle like a big circle.. tie all the fuses
+together.. if you have to get some twine and soak it in kerosene to extend
+the fuses.. in the end you need to have one main fuse.. now set that
+somewhere safe.. take the egg time and take it apart and look for the
+hammer that dings the bell.. take a wire and connect it the hammer.. then
+take another wire and connect it to the bell.. now set that aside.. take
+the two nine volts and wire the + to + and - to -.. then tape them together
+and take two wires and attatch one to each.. take the negative wire and
+attatch it to one lead of the model rocket fuse.. take the other wire and
+attach it to the wire from the hammer of the egg clock.. now attatch the
+wire from the bell to the + lead from the battery.. CAUTION your device is
+now armed.. carefully tape everything together .. in fact it would be a
+good idea at this point to slip a piece of thick paper between the hammer
+and the bell.. now take your toilet destroyer and place it on near in or
+around the tank of your least favorite shitter.. set the timer for atleast
+a half hour and dont be obivious in placement.. thats it leave and then wait
+for the blast.. or hey get someone else to plant it and stop by for a pack of
+smokes right on schedule..
+
+please note.. if you go to jail for terrorist activity i did not tell you to
+do this.. and i most certainly didnt say anything about phillips 66 and i sure
+as hell didnt tell you that a bomb powerful enough to obliterate a toilet
+could be built for less than 10$... alright? now get out there and kill kill
+kill...
+
+blizzard\six.blz

textfiles.com/uploads/toiletsupersoaker.txt

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+          +++++++++++++++++++++++++
+         +0xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx0+       
+         +0  toilet=super soaker  0+
+         +0      writen by        0+
+         +0                       0+
+         +0 paininvmuthafuckinass 0+
+         +0xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx0+
+          +++++++++++++++++++++++++
+
+
+Friday 5th March 2006 21:43
+
+Disclaimer
+===============
+my textfiles are for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. DO NOT undertake any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other textfile
+I am not responsible for, nor do I assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information in this textfile
+
+I<EFBFBD>d also like to say i tested this out myself and it works
+
+Warning
+===============
+Well first warning i am giving you is to not do this in your school if they have cameras in the toilets like they do at my school(sick isn<73>t it)
+
+The entire stall and bathroom is going to get "very wet" and so is the unfurtunate fucker that is going to get pranked
+
+Ok you<6F>ve had your warning so lets get started
+
+The Prank
+===============
+All you need to do is take the lid off the cistern
+
+Inside there is usually a vertical plastic pipe about 1 inch in diameter,going into the top of this pipe is a little plastic tube
+
+NOTE:that in SOME toilet cisterns the tube is inside that pipe and you will have to break the top off so you can get to the hose
+
+Now all you do is put it out of/toward the end of toilet cistern with the end of the hose just sticking out.now put the cistern lid back on(with the hose still just sticking out)
+
+Now leave the toilets
+
+What happens is when the random person has done his business and flushes the toilet he will get sprayed at out of the hose
+
+Modification
+===============
+Modify it by putting some airsoft bb<62>s in it
+
+This will hurt the person and soak them but IMO takes the originality out of the prank